Draconic Summit Spring 2023 - otherkind-experiences

The otherkind and draconic themed channels are meant for attendees to speak about their experiences with nonhumanity without judgement from others or unwarranted questioning. Please keep these channels on topic. If there is already a conversation taking place in one of the themed channels, direct your separate topic to the other channel that does not have an active conversation currently taking place.

(A Vuulluunnthhaaiiill Lol) pinned a message to this channel. 6/3/2023 9:13 pm

Watching Raya and the Last Dragon has made my being realize how cold and unforgiving of an individual I am XD

3:10 am

If you do something to harm my being knowingly or maliciously, I will never, ever forgive you, no matter how much you've changed as a person, no matter how sorry you are, no matter how much you try to earn my trust back I will always hold that hatred in my heart to fester.

to be totally honest, that sounds exhausting. I've legit forgiven people because it was just easier for me to forgive and move on, even if they didn't really deserve it.

This doesn't apply to anyone attending the event obviously, if you've harmed my being maliciously I wouldn't even talk to you.

3:12 am

It's not tiring to my being, I'm a very unhealthy person with very unhealthy habits that don't ever seem to go away.

Holding onto hatreds sounds bad. I try to cleanse myself of hatred. It's important to me not to hate anyone. I've been hurt by plenty of people, starting with a biological sister who I think was the only person I ever hated, but I've forgiven all of them.

My true draconian self is the exact same way. If you harm her she will never forgive you and her hatred just festers and grows for eternity.

3:14 am

She can't forgive malicious harm, I can't either. I do have severe ptsd that heavily contributes to this.

Come to think of it, since your true draconian self is essentially a deity, it makes a certain amount of sense that you wouldn't be able to forgive such things. It's possible and even necessary for a deity to have such conditions to their relationships. At least, from my perspective.

I think Luunaathh herself actually feeds into how bad my ptsd is. I adopt her traits and I can't accept heathy coping mechanisms that go against her.

3:17 am

I know that I do myself harm by holding in all this anger, I know I should let my guard down sometimes and at least try to forgive those who have maliciously wronged my being and genuinely feel apologetic for it, though I can't. Luunaathh can't, it's not in my draconic instincts to forgive anyone who has given my being lasting mental damage.

3:18 am

I don't think this subject is talked about much honestly, traits that one's kintypes/true selves have that do harm to them upon this earth. I know I have those traits.

3:19 am

This got a little too deep, I apologize.

3:20 am

Hope I didn't cause anyone any discomfort, it was just something I wanted to talk about sadblep

1

I think that makes perfect sense tbh. Our kintype selves are an integral part of who we are. Just like I can definitely detect that I have been affected by being in a human body, I can also tell that I am permanently a dragon, too. Drakmanka is me and to undo that is to undo myself, something I can't do.

If I did cause anyone any discomfort just say "Luunaathh, knock it off with your unhealthy crap" or something. I know I say things that are a little too heavy sometimes and that's something I need to work on.

True self traits that do harm? My past life was singularly unimpressive. I was moderately successful as a merchant for a while in the middle, but then a tragedy drove me crazy. I abandoned my home and spent a long, long time as a crazy homeless dragon. I'm not a paragon of sanity now, but I'm differently crazy in this lifetime...

Not to sound like I'm biased or anything, though I really don't think anyone here is upset at you speaking about your experience.

1

No discomfort here personally. There are positive and negative aspects to everything. They are all part of your experience and your nonhumanity, so they are worth noting.

I'm infinitely worse in regards to feeling hatred, it's why I don't make friends.

Yeah, I feel the same way there

The summit is supposed to be a place where you can express your feelings and experiences, even the unsavory ones you experience personally.

2

Our plurality has a hard time with emotional regulation and emotional permanence. If we feel angry, in that moment, it is hard to imagine a world where other emotions are even possible. But with time we snap out of it fairly quickly, I'd say. We tend to be a bit forgiving since over time the pain associated with events does fade and we like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I would be very disappointed if anyone here judged you for saying "I have ptsd and can't forgive anyone who does my being wrong".

3:31 am

That's your experience, that's how you feel. No one can change that and no one should judge you for your own view on forgiving or not forgiving.

Fair bean

3:32 am

I'll talk about something different, I can't shake the feeling that someone is uncomfortable around my being or in some way, shape, or form upset at my being, rip.

Well err. How about this. Does anyone experience any specific meal cravings in regards to their nonhuman shifts or mindset?

sashimi

1

3:35 am

I mean, that one doesn’t belong to me, but it’s part of me. but yes, raw meat, particular seafood, particularly fish

I like bits of food I can swallow in one go, but that' sprobably not very healthy for my tummy in general

1

kind of? it's hard because a typical dragon diet - meat, fish, blood - are all things I generally dislike. I'm a very picky eater, and most meat is unpleasant or downright repulsive to me. I like junk food and sweets, really, or generally processed things that don't have so many texture issues like meat, fruit, or anything more natural. at least I can stomach chicken nuggets

3:40 am

I guess I like the taste of human blood, or at least my own since I don't go around licking bleeding humans, but that's obviously not a practical, realistic, socially acceptable or healthy option. and that might just be anemia

I love foods that can slide down my throat in one big glorious bite, but I have to be careful because I have scar tissue in my esophagus that has decreased the diameter of it and food can get stuck there and it's painful (thankfully below where my windpipe is so I can't choke, it's just unpleasant).

(Luunaathh)

If you do something to harm my being knowingly or maliciously, I will never, ever forgive you, no matter how much you've changed as a person, no matter how sorry you are, no matter how much you try to earn my trust back I will always hold that hatred in my heart to fester.

I am similar. I hold grudges with the best of them. Not entirely sure this applies to my species as a whole, myself personally, or both, however. Regardless, if you are capable of injuring me deeply enough (this is not easy to accomplish, and is almost entirely based on my family, not myself) i do not forget that grudge. I have a grudge against my (human) mom, for her abuse of me, and her believing it was entirely "worth" it. That's decades in the making, as is. A life-goal, if you will. I held a grudge against my Love's (human) parents, because of what they said to her, about me. (i care less what their opinions are about me. They made my Love cry.) My Love, for her part, had entirely gotten past this and forgotten it. Last year, more than a decade afterwards, we touched the topic and she was dumbfounded about the venom in my voice. (Extremely uncharacteristic for me.) She realized where i was coming from, and directly confronted me to let it go, as it was her issue, her parents, and "damned, if it comes between to you or them... it's you." Not joking, only reason i was capable of letting that one go. The world for my Love, if she request it!

I hold grudges for a long time, and the things I have forgiven I still absolutely remember. and sometimes decide years later at random that I'm going to still be mad about it

I generally don't hold grudges in the traditional sense, but I do remember everything people do or say to me. Good, is remembered fondly. Bad, is remembered with trepidation and caution. I will forgive if they are deserving, or if it just isn't worth the effort to not forgive, but some things aren't forgiveable as they stand now. Like my ex-best friend betraying me and our mutual friends, and trying to make it out to be all our fault. If she were to come to me and apologize and beg for forgiveness, I would do so, though. Only if she seemed truly sincere and proved it by her actions.

2

I hold grudges, I don't really forgive either.

(A Vuulluunnthhaaiiill Lol)

I hold grudges, I don't really forgive either.

Admittedly, i dont actually know how to forgive. I can let a grudge go, if it's worth is, as above, but... forgive? I just... don't actually understand the concept. I've worked on this in therapy a bit, but wasnt able to advanced my understanding very well.

I actually don't put my trust in anyone. It feels good to trust others though many times you just end up backstabbed or trusting someone who actually ends up hating you or harming you.

If someone does me a wrong worth me tick my boxes for, i dont understand how or why i should or must forgive. (worry not, though, as if it's not enough to "tick my box" i rarely care about it once i'm emotionally calm after the situation.) For me, if someone who did wrong works to correct their error, that's not forgiveness. Sure, i no longer hold the issue against them, as they proved they're working at it. But that's still not forgiveness. What was done was still wrong you just paid your penance, the same way we all do.

1

Except for Luunaathh of course, though that's only because she created my being and I love her. Can't trust Auuthhiiiviiirrokk for shit, I've never really made friends with Vouulluunkkeiiithh, I don't trust Kiiitthuullkkhaann either. None of Luunaathh's other friends upon home are ones I can trust.

2

(A Vuulluunnthhaaiiill Lol)

I actually don't put my trust in anyone. It feels good to trust others though many times you just end up backstabbed or trusting someone who actually ends up hating you or harming you.

Similar issue. My trust is... extremely limited. To less than the fingers on my hand. My family, and my Love. So, three people. I grew up having my trust abused by the very people and systems intended to protect me. As i've grown and aged, i have not received any experiences that contradict this, and thus i still withhold my trust from almost everybody. (but at least i've found a few people who i can trust.)

(A Vuulluunnthhaaiiill Lol)

Except for Luunaathh of course, though that's only because she created my being and I love her. Can't trust Auuthhiiiviiirrokk for shit, I've never really made friends with Vouulluunkkeiiithh, I don't trust Kiiitthuullkkhaann either. None of Luunaathh's other friends upon home are ones I can trust.

You know you can trust Alaph right? Yeah he’s tried to kill you a few times because you pissed him off though you and him are a lot alike and you get along better than you both would like to admit, lol.

Yeah no lol

Rip

(Luunaathh)

You know you can trust Alaph right? Yeah he’s tried to kill you a few times because you pissed him off though you and him are a lot alike and you get along better than you both would like to admit, lol.

I know who you can trust! Quails. ❤️ And Snorls. (edited)

Luunaathh puts all the trust in lean beans

4:55 am

Never knew "snorl" was an existing play on words for "snail" though.

4:55 am

She always says "snell" or "snailb"

snabs

or "SnAil" with emphasis on the "A"

(A Vuulluunnthhaaiiill Lol)

Never knew "snorl" was an existing play on words for "snail" though.

Saw this one just the other day in with the new snorl pics. I instantly took a love to it!